Worth It
by BabyBeaver
Summary: Just Ben reflecting on his weekend at the end of What Have You Done To Me...


**August 1, 2008: So, I was rereading AshGurl2897's newest fic, A Love That Requires No Less, and started thinking about how Ben is always cracking jokes and whatnot, but when it comes to Amy and the baby, he's so totally serious. **

**Basically him reflecting on the day he proposes to Amy…**

**I own NOTHING.**

* * *

After he left Amy his "voicemail proposal," as he'd started calling it, Ben looked up at the moon and pondered his current situation. Yesterday afternoon he'd proposed to his girlfriend (of only a few weeks, one should add), who had started crying.

But not in a good way. Oh, no. Far from it. She had practically screamed at him to tell her how he knew about her predicament. He had told her, the crying had gotten worse, and he had made a very bad attempt at cheering her up, which had made the situation even worse.

But Ben had pressed on. He had assured Amy that he loved her and would take care of her—make her the Sausage Princess—forever, had even begged her to agree.

Needless to say, the ride home had been somewhat less than pleasant, today at school nerve-wracking, and this evening at home…well, Ben was positive it was better than the rest of his day had been.

His dad had come home from work earlier than usual and had looked rather annoyed at something.

Ben had ventured to ask if the Sausage King was feeling all right and had been given a look that Ben had never seen before.

"Do I _look_ all right, Benjamin?"

Ben backed up a few paces. "Um…yeah. Yeah, you look completely fine."

"I'm not."

Ben had started for his room, but Mr. Boykewich's next comment stopped him in his tracks.

"I got a call from your guidance counselor today."

"Really?" Ben half-turned, plastering a goofy, curious look on his face.

"Yeah."

"Why would he call you?" Ben had asked, trying to keep his voice normal.

His father had proceeded to lecture him on the importance of giving Amy her space, and Ben had listened dutifully, nodding in the appropriate places while trying to keep the tears from his eyes.

Halfway through his speech, Mr. Boykewich had tilted his head and asked curiously, "Ben? Are you all right?"

Ben had sniffed, smiled, and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah. Allergies."

"Ben, you're not allergic to anything," his father had replied, stepping toward Ben and asking seriously, "What's wrong? What are you so upset about? Am I being too hard on you?"

Ben bit back a sob, trying to stay 'normal,' but the tears forced themselves from his eyes. He hadn't been able to speak around the lump in his throat for several minutes, but his father had been too busy hugging him to really listen, anyway.

When the tears had mostly subsided, Ben took a shaky breath and confessed, "I'm scared, Dad."

"Of what? That Amy'll get an abortion?"

And then it all came rushing out: "I'm afraid she hates me for being such an idiot and that maybe she'll get an abortion and that her parents will be mad at her and…and…"

He hesitated before blurting out, "I wish Mom was here!"

The tears started flowing again, from both Boykewich men, and his father whispered, "I do too, kiddo."

They had cried together for several minutes before his father had reminded him, "Your mother always was better at the emotional stuff…"

Ben had choked out a laugh, they had said goodnight, and now Ben sat staring out his bedroom window speaking to the moon as if it was his mother.

"I wish you were here, Mom. I'm so confused. I love Amy, and I thought she loved me, but… she seems mad at me."

He chuckled almost bitterly, continuing, "Well, you can't blame her for that, I guess. I mean, I proposed for crying out loud."

He sighed. "But I meant it. I want to marry her, to take care of her. Forever. But she thinks her parents won't approve, that they'll send her away or make her get an abortion instead. I'm afraid she will. I know it's not my decision, but I don't want her to kill her baby."

Another sigh, this one accompanied by a tear, and Ben confessed, "And at the same time, I almost don't want to lie and tell people it's my baby. I want to, but I don't to."

He shook his head. "I'm not making any sense, but I think you get it, right?"

A star twinkled as if in confirmation and Ben turned to look at the picture of his mother on his nightstand.

"I miss you a lot. I know you're probably happier now, but I can't help but want you back. I'm tired of trying to cover everything up with humor. I'm tired of making a fool of myself around Amy and saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. I'm just tired of it. Sometimes I wish you hadn't died, that you were still here to help me and Dad with stuff."

He sighed yet again and declared, "You'd like Amy, Mom. She's cute and smart and funny and…"

He blinked, reminding himself why he'd proposed.

"And she's worth it. All of it. I don't care how tough this is gonna be on me. Amy's worth it. She's my soul mate, and I'll do whatever it takes to convince her of that, even if I have to wait five years."

Decision made, Ben flopped own on his bed and locked his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

He turned onto his side, hugging a pillow, and fell asleep a few minutes later dreaming of the day he would marry Amy, a smile on his lips the entire night.

* * *

**Words: 910**

**Yep, strange. Might not make complete sense in parts, but…if you're familiar with my writing, you know my brain jumps around a lot.**

**Oh. My. GOSH. I found out titles of more episodes. I already knew up to episode eight, and then I managed to find a list of TWELVE episodes. One of which airs the day before my sister's birthday. :) I'm SO excited for more episodes, although in the summary of one, Ben and Amy's relationship "begins to sour". But the title of a future ep makes me think they get over the issue. –crosses fingers- We'll see. Brenda Hampton has to know that half of the viewers love Ben and Amy together and that we'd all go ballistic if they break up… So yeah. My little rant of the day. xD**


End file.
